University of Georgia Athletics
Maloney's Balogna: Soccer Superlatives
September 19, 2014 | Soccer
By Jill Maloney, UGA Soccer student coach
I'm really excited about this blog. This week I passed out a questionnaire of 23 "Soccer Superlatives" for the team and staff to fill out. There are a few of the standard senior superlative questions, but some are super random. Either way, we all had a lot of fun and got to see what everyone else thinks of us.
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Best Smile: Hannah Edwards
All those years of brushing your teeth finally paid off, Hannah.
Runners-up: Kelsey Nix and Bella Hartley
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Best Hair: Rachel Garcia
Rachel has that super-curly Taylor Swift flow hair that deserved to be the best.
Runners-up: Hannah Edwards and Marion Crowder
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Most Huggable: Alex Pallo
Awwww. Alex is small enough to fit perfectly into the hugging zone, so she is not a surprise for most huggable.
Runners-up: Natalie Goodman and Eli Martinez
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Most Likely to End Up on a Future Series of The Real Housewives: Caroline Waters
I guess Carol has the right combo of looks, glam, and drama to make for good TV.
Runners-up: Bria Washington and Lauren Tanner
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Best tweets, Snapchats, and Instagrams: Mariel Gutierrez & Jill Maloney
Mariel and I tied for best social media…although she has 24,200 more Twitter followers than me. I think mine came from my Snapchat game, as I tend to document my all-nighters over Snapchat story.
Runners-up: Shayna Raekelboom and Angelica Tabarres
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Most Likely to Accidentally Sleep through a Game: Kelsey Nix
Kelsey is well known for her napping prowess, so I don't think anyone would be surprised if she missed a game. Although, we would definitely miss her on defense.
Runners-up: Marion Crowder and Morgan Orobello
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Most Likely to Succeed in Life after Soccer: Liliana Rios
No surprises to see our reigning highest team GPA winner win this one. Lili is going to become a great doctor and make a ton of money and do all my future surgeries for free (hopefully). No pressure, Lili.
Runners-up: Summer Burnett and Jill Maloney (yesssss!)
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Harry Potter Sorting Hat Lightning Round!
Gryffindor (Brave): Mackin D'Amico
Runners-up: Carly Settles and Becca Rassmussen
Slytherin (Cunning and Evil): Bria Washington
Runners-up: Shayna Raekelboom and Gabby Seiler
Ravenclaw (Smart): Jill Maloney & Liliana Rios
Runners-up: Maddie Burdick and Laura Eddy
Hufflepuff (Nice and Loyal): Cara Smith
Runners-up: Kara Looby and Natalie Goodman
The biggest issue with these questions is that nobody really wanted to win Hufflepuff award. In the books and movies, there really isn't a lot going on with them and it's considered to be the lame and random house of Hogwarts. But, congrats to Cara Smith, who will probably be mad when she sees this. Also, I tied with Lili for Ravenclaw so I am PUMPED.
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Most Likely to Drop Out and Disappear: Shayna Raekelboom
I guess Shayna is a risk to just run away and become a wanderer? I was sure it would be Carli or Bella, although they took the runners-up spots.
Runners-up: Carli Shultis and Bella Hartley
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Going to be the Best Mom: Hannah Edwards
Hannah has racked up Top-2 finishes in best hair, best smile, and best mom. That is pretty darn impressive. I 100% agree with this one. She will also make a great teacher one day.
Runners-up: Summer Burnett and Kara Looby
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Most Awkward: Natalie Goodman
Awwww Nat. Natalie is kind of awkward but it's in a cute way.
Runner-up: Mackin D'Amico
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Most Likely to be Living a Double Life: Marion Crowder
I guess Marion could be living a mysterious double life in her free time. I don't really know what all she does, which makes her more mysterious and more likely to be living a double life.
Runners-up: Andie Fontenetta and Morgan Orobello
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Most Likely to become a Soccer Coach: Laura Eddy
"Coach Laura" destroyed in this category and for good reason.
Runners-up: Gabby Seiler and Taylor Donohue
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Biggest Hipster: Carli Shultis
This was the biggest landslide of the vote. It makes sense…I mean, she built teepees and stopped showering regularly before it was cool. There weren't even runners-up.
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Most Likely to Throw Shade: Gabby Seiler
Throw Shade (verb): to send sassy and sarcastic looks in someone's direction.
Gabby is the queen of shade.
Runners-up: Mackin D'Amico and Bria Washington
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Most Likely to Win the Hunger Games: Emma Sonnett
When we say Emma would win the Hunger Games, we mean she's strong, smart, and brave. We don't mean she is likely to kill 23 other kids.
Runners-up: Bella Hartley and Natalie Goodman
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Most Likely to become a Gold Digger: Bria Washington
Hahahaha. Bria already won Slytherin and got second for having a future on The Real Housewives, so this adds up.
Runners-up: Josie Roebuck and Caroline Waters
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Best Dance Moves: Mariel Gutierrez
Mariel has that Mexican salsa dance DOWN.
Runners-up: Summer Burnett and Marion Crowder
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Worst Dance Moves: Jill Maloney
SHOUT OUT TO MY TEAM FOR VOTING ME WORST DANCE MOVES. Cool, guys.
Runners-up: Bria Washington and Alexa Antetomaso
I hope this was eye-opening for some people on and outside the team. Also, I'm sure everyone would have voted for me for best blog. You should, too.
